Connect your wallet.
Get financially judged.
Crypto Roast scans a public wallet, scores the chaos out of 100, assigns you a crypto personality and hands you a shareable roast card. It's entertainment — and it might hurt a little.
Your portfolio, judged in seconds
A deterministic Roast Score weighs concentration, meme exposure, liquidity, dust, graveyard tokens and complexity. Then a personality engine tells you exactly what kind of crypto creature you are.
- 🧮 Transparent, reproducible scoring — same wallet, same score
- 8+ crypto personalities
- 🖼️ Share cards for every platform
- 🤖 Optional AI roast with a rules-based fallback
How the judging works
1 · Scan
Paste a public address or a portfolio. We read balances — never keys.
2 · Analyse
Concentration, memes, liquidity, dust and dead tokens are measured.
3 · Roast
A score out of 100 and a personality that will follow you forever.
4 · Share
Download a card and let your group chat decide your fate.
The Roast Score scale
Which crypto creature are you?
Someone call a financial paramedic.
Fundamentals? Never heard of her.
The house always wins. You are not the house.
In crypto, but emotionally offline.
Every chain, every bridge, every fee.
One bag. Total conviction. Zero diversification.
Back in my day we mined on CPUs.
Big bag, one direction.
🔒 Read-only by design
We never ask for a seed phrase, private key or exchange password. Wallet addresses are masked in public, scores are deterministic, and anything labelled "estimate" is exactly that. Entertainment only — not financial advice.
Judge me nowQuestions, judged
Do I need to connect my wallet?+
No. Paste any public address and we read publicly available blockchain data. There is no connection, no signature and no permission request. You can also paste your holdings manually.
Will you ever ask for my seed phrase or private key?+
Never. If a site asks you for those, close the tab. Crypto Roast only needs a public address, and the analyser rejects anything that looks like a secret.
Is the Roast Score financial advice?+
No. The Roast Score is an entertainment metric built from observable portfolio characteristics such as concentration, meme exposure, liquidity and dust. It is not a rating, a recommendation or a prediction.
Where do the prices come from?+
From public market-data providers configured by the site administrator (for example CoinGecko and DEX data providers). Prices can be delayed, and when a provider fails we show "data unavailable" rather than guessing.
Which chains are supported?+
Ethereum, BNB Chain, Polygon, Arbitrum, Optimism, Base and Avalanche (EVM), plus Bitcoin. Bitcoin wallets are read-only too: we show the balance, transaction count and activity dates — never your keys.
Can other people see my roast?+
Only if you share the link. Every roast page has privacy controls: public, unlisted (link only) or private. Wallet addresses are always masked on public pages and share cards.
Do I need an account?+
No. Guests can run a limited number of analyses. An account is optional and adds saved wallets, history and higher limits.
Is my data deleted if I ask?+
Yes. You can delete individual scans, your wallet records or your entire account from the dashboard. Administrators can also configure data retention.